My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
