I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
