So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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