Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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