Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
