Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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