WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
