I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
