I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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