New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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