You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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