How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
