Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
