You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You have to summon your inner elephant
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize