It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
