Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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