Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
