We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
