I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
