is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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