I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
