i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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