Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
