I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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