He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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