Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
