A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
