i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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