i jhust puked up my retainher.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
