its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
