You're my little dorito
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
