Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
