Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
