just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
