shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
