i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
should my penis look like a turkey
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
