Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
