I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
