Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
NoShamevember. You game?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
