Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
