all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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