i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
