am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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