Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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