Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
