It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
