Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
