did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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