Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
