You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
