last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
